Life through His Name, Eric Fullmer

I hardly ever got into trouble as I was growing up. While my two brothers were occasionally put on restriction for one thing or another, I cannot remember ever being “grounded.” I went through high school with almost a 4.0 grade point average and was a better than average athlete; but in spite of the academic and athletic success, there was at times a tremendous feeling within me of something missing. Many times I would lie on my bed at night and stare at the ceiling, wondering what life was all about.

After a year and a half of college, I was still undecided as to what direction I should take in life. Although I did well at every subject I attempted, and found them all quite interesting, the sensation of something lacking was still there. It was like trying to strike a match but failing--the match may start to ignite, but at the last moment it dies out. So it was with me and such subjects as psychology, philosophy, anthropology, and zoology.

One essay in my Philosophical Ideas textbook, however, stirred up a seeking in another direction. The title of the essay and the name of its writer I have long since forgotten, but the point he was making still stands out in my memory. He said that regardless of how much logical reason is put before them, people who claim to have had a “religious experience” (as he termed it) seem immovable--that their convictions stand on something deeper than reason. Reading this caused me to start thinking that perhaps this was the kind of experience I was looking for. I decided to look into some major religions: Islam, Hinduism, Christianity, etc., to see if there was an answer there.

I decided to start with Christianity, since I already had a Bible. I also had enough background to know that I should start with the New Testament (so I began to read it). As I read through the four Gospels, my interest grew deeper and deeper. Eventually, I came to John 20:31: “But these [the Scriptures] are written, that you might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you might have life through His name.” When I was a child, someone had circled this verse in red, and had written “key verse” next to it. I read it over and over again, and suddenly it was as if someone had turned a spotlight on my inner being. I saw how sinful I was before God, and I saw my need of forgiveness. Face down on my bed, I asked God to forgive me, but it was as if He were asking me, “Do you believe?” After struggling within for what seemed like several minutes, I finally said aloud, “I believe!” From that very moment, within me, everything was changed. Whereas a few minutes earlier I had been crying, now I could not cry, even if I wanted to. I knew that I had found what was missing. I knew that God was real, and I knew that He was now within me. That evening I gave my life over to Him.

For several days, though, I wondered if I was the only one in the world who had experienced God in such a way--I knew no one else who had. Then, six days after my salvation experience, I was walking across the campus when I saw some people on the walkway up ahead handing out small cards. As I passed by, one was given to me. It was an invitation to a gospel meeting on campus. The student who gave it to me said, “You're invited to a feast.” I took the card and continued walking, but he came running after me and asked if I were a Christian. I thought about it for a moment, because up to this point I hadn't considered what I was. Then I said, “Yes.” Wondering whether I was telling the truth, he asked, “When were you saved?” “Last Saturday,” I replied. His face lit up. “Praise the Lord!” he said. Something within me leaped when he said that. “Yes, praise the Lord!” I responded. I had never heard anyone praise the Lord before, at least it had never struck such a response within me. Soon, I met many others who, like me, had touched the Lord in a real way. And the more I met with them, the more real God became to me. That Saturday night in my bedroom I had discovered the meaning of human life: to believe into Jesus and to have life through His name. And six days later, I discovered the meaning of the Christian life: to know and be a living member of His Body.